First Times Aren't Always Magical
by little toshiro
Summary: Oneshot of Roy and Ed being adorably clueless.


A/N: This story was inspired by a review for "Roy's Secret." You know who you are.

"What do you _mean_ it won't go in?" Roy asked his perplexed blonde bed partner.

Edward looked up from his position on the bed in between Roy's thighs. They had been making awkward attempts at this sex business for the better part of an hour. Most of that time had been taken up with trying to psyche Ed up.

"_You want me to put my _what _in your _where?" The younger boy had asked, looking shaken.

"I'm pretty sure that's how it works."

"You want me to do that based on 'pretty sure'?"

The Flame Alchemist sighed. Everything about this courtship, for lack of a better word, had been difficult, frustrating and awkward. They needed a manual. That's what it came down to. They needed a blessed manual.

To emphasize his point, the blonde _pushed._

"Ow! Stop! Stop! It won't go in! I believe you! Stop!" Roy Mustang had learned an extremely important lesson about himself. He was a brave man, but not above begging in certain situations. Or screaming. Or crying.

Right now, he felt like curling up into the fetal position and never trying this again. Ever.

He was going to _politely_ suggest that perhaps they _both_ reconsider this same sex whatever-it-was they had going and stick to women. Less to figure out that way.

Well, he was going to suggest it, but the FullMetal alchemist, who he had already started to refer to in his head as _his_ alchemist, was getting up off the bed.

This was quite disconcerting. He was going to leave before the Colonel told him to?

"Where are you going?"

"I have an idea. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

Roy considered this with some trepidation. An idea of Ed's could be, well, _anything._ He didn't have long to ponder it as his blonde was already coming back into the bedroom.

"What is that?" Roy asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Oil from your kitchen."

"Your going to cook me?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I thought this might work better if I greased up first." The younger boy said matter-of-factly.

Roy tried not to look appalled. _Greased up? Is he serious?_

This time it was Edward's turn to sigh.

"Look, I really want this to work out. God knows why, but you make me fucking _hard_ Colonel. I want you. So please, just let me try one more time. If you don't like it, I'll stop, we won't ever do this again. Deal?"

Roy's little blonde looked so hopeful and cute begging him. Plus his cock _had _given a happy twitch when Ed had said that bit about making him 'fucking hard.'

Maybe he could give his little spit-fire just one more chance to prove that they could have something. Besides, truth be told, his scrumptious, tanned, toned, exotic looking with that golden hair and his yellow eyes, and that overwhelming personality (probably the only one of his subordinates willing to go toe-to-toe with the Flame) well, he made the Colonel fucking _hard_ as well. Not that he would ever admit it.

"Alright, FullMetal, we can try it your way. Just one more chance though."

The obvious relief on Edward's face made any potential pain worth it tenfold.

Ed grinned. "Hope you have spare sheets," and with that liberally dumped oil all of his hand and cock. He stopped the battle back up and set it on Roy's night stand.

Edward placed two oil-coated fingers at Roy's entrance, where the head of his cock had been moments before. He stroked gently making Roy cry out.

"Sensitive, are we?" the blonde asked.

A blush and a nod were his only response at first. After a slight hesitation they were followed by a quiet, "more."

"What was that, Roy? Couldn't hear you."

The older man growled. "I said, 'more.'"

"Can I get a 'more please'?"

Roy grit his teeth.

"More please."

"That's better. Well since you asked so nicely.."

He stroked the outside muscle once more before slipping a finger inside, causing his Colonel to gasp.

"What. Is. That.?" He was having difficulty breathing.

"My finger."

"Ah, I didn't know that it would feel like… I didn't know. Ah! More please."

Edward was happy to oblige.

Stroking Roy's insides with two fingers was fun, and he really did love hearing those sounds that Roy had started making, but he wanted more. More specifically, his cock wanted more.

He slid his fingers out abruptly, causing the Colonel to whine adorably.

_Let's see. How to go about this… I'll just do it really quick, like pulling a bandage._

He lined up and _shoved._

Roy, to his credit, didn't set the FullMetal alchemist on fire. He did however let out a howl that would put any wolf hound to shame.

Edward froze, balls-deep inside his lover. He started to pull out, an apology on his lips, when hands grabbed him by the bangs on either side of his face.

"Don't. Fucking. Move."

"Okay."

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You."

Swallow. "Okay."

"Stop. Saying. Okay."

"O- Sorry."

Despite the severity of the situation, and Edward hadn't meant to thrust, really, it was just that his poor neglected cock had never felt anything quite like the Colonel before, and it was really, really happy.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I promise!"

But the expression on Roy's face had changed.

"Do that again."

Edward gave another timid thrust.

He was quite surprised when Roy threw his head back and moaned.

He was even more surprised when he came inside Roy. After only two thrusts. He pulled out slowly.

Words were looping themselves in Edward's mind. _I'm a two pump chump, I'm a two pump chump, I'm a two pump chump…_

He was terrified to look into Roy's eyes.

He did anyway.

But the Colonel had a smile on his face.

Edward blushed and mumbled a quiet, "I'm sorry."

Roy sat up on the bed, wincing slightly. He pulled his blonde alchemist into a chaste kiss.

"Don't apologize. It was fine. I guess we will just have to keep practicing and get really good at it."

Again that endearing expression of hope and relief.

"You mean we can try again?"

"As many times as it takes, FullMetal, as many times as it takes."

Owari


End file.
